That "Peter Pan Complex" Thingy!

Yo, yo, yo, non-readers of my blog! Time for me to have another masturbatory fling at the old PC keyboard, spouting ideas and ideals and visions and versions that NO ONE is EVER likely to read! But, ain't getting it OUT just GRAND?!?

I'm just past 50. I'm thinking that when my DAD hit 50, he FELT like he was 50! He was DEFINITELY living the LIFE of someone who was 50 -- his wife of 20+ years told him to fuck off, he got remarried, he was a High Level Executive in a High Level Blue Chip Corporation, WISHING he could find a way to retire REAL early, he had a GREAT portfolio, he took GREAT vacations, he owned GREAT Real Estate, he owned Great American Dream Stuff, he was STILL having Real World Arguments with his ALL of Legal Age Kids as if they were still JUST Kids. In fact, were it not for a VERY vitriolic comment made to me BY him, just BEFORE he turned 50, regarding my "passion," I would still be in my "home state" unhappily married, unhappily working 9-5, and, YES, (non-)Peoples, LIVING IN A TRAILER (we CALL them "mobile homes" just to get through the day). But, NOOOOOOO, here I am, the same age as my LIVING THE 50's LIFE Dad was doing 23 years ago ... and I STILL cannot, DO not feel like I EVER left HIGH SCHOOL!!! God, I LOVE being a musician;) LOL!

Now, to clear some stuff up that none of YOU care about, but which I do: The "VERY vitriolic comment" my Dad made WAY back when, I will NEVER stop thanking him for saying! In short, I was working a dead-end but well-paid 9-5 job for a HUGE company and in a band that, seriously, "practiced" 5 nights a week for MONTHS, and NEVER played a gig!! Of course, I was PASSIONATE about it, and the rest of the guys were PASSIONATE about it -- but, it's main attraction was the fact that we got to play at the end of the work day after smoking HUGE amounts of weed, in the basement of the guitar player's house with NO fear of being asked to turn it down, except by his wife when it was past his daughter's bedtime, which just meant we turned off our gear and smoked MORE weed before getting in the car and driving home. But, OH, did we have PLANS, and GREAT ORIGINAL SONGS that were going to TAKE US PLACES!!! Yeah, right, our ages ranging from mid-20's to mid-30's --- NOT exactly what record execs are looking for! The "COMMENT"? Dad and I were having yet another argument about my ridiculously low sense of responsibility (some things NEVER change --- LOL!), I was arduously defending my band, and he said (and I need to make a plaque and hang it over my door, it SO affected my life!), "No, son, it's just a fucking hobby! If it's THAT important to you to play in a band, then DO something with it!!!" Now, that's paraphrasing, because I will never try to make ANYbody believe my memory is THAT good; BUT, that IS the gist of the statement. "Old School:" Shit or get off the pot, Bitch! The MAIN word is "HOBBY"!!!!!!! That characterization cut me to the quick AND made me act! In fact, my EX-wife used that same word after an impassioned discussion about my wanting to play again, and was a DEFINITE "deal-breaker;" we NEVER saw eye-to-eye about my needs or my music afterwards (and, she developed her "side-guy" even further after that ... but that's another sordid story). Within a few months, I chucked it ALL, left home and joined a road band in March, 1986, a band I STILL am with this very day!

LOVE YOU, DAD! (And my Mom, too ... but tonight is not HER time in my blog;)!). I have a HUGE love/hate relationship with my Peter Pan Complex --- but, at least I ain't molesting children, right?;) Ciao!